East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
