i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My legs feel like baby dolphins
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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