Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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