bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
