Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
