I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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