We're facebook friends in real life
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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