i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize