Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
