Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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