So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
