just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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