wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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