HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
