"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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