You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Im part way to drunk.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
