I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
