I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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