i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
