One girl and one boy is just not enough.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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