Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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