I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
