Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Screwed.edu
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The beer is more important than you right now.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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