Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
