Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
it hurts more in the daytime
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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