i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
