Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
