You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
