Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
