If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
