I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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