I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
