Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
