Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize