great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
