the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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