I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
