I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
