Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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