ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
