yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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