Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize