sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
