It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
