Me too!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
