Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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