We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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