yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
