wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
