Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
