I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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