My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
