Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
