yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
His nipple licking is glorious
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