Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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