They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
