BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
