idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We talked him into tasing himself.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize