Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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