mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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