I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We are two peas in an std pod
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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