addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
