Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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