Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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