hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
