Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
and she was petting her beer can
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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