He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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