your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
