just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize