its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
