It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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